problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
