i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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