You work out of a Hotel?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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