yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
bring money and cleavage
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
