jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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