wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
