you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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