i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
