if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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