So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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