in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
