Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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