sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
