Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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