Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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