well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
