I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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