You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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