You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize