I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
