Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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