Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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