normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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