You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
