I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
