So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
