hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
