the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
