i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
