i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
