To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
