But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
