Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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