Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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