so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
