taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
