At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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