i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
