we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
