Jerry, you need to find god
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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