I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
