is your mom at the bar?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Help. Why am I so naked?
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