saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
