I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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