I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
