I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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