Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
