If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
