she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
