dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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