My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
