how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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