drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
MIDGETS
????
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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