Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize