my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
