Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
