You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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