Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
