I could have mohawked her pubes.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
