i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
