dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize