you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
