and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
