i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
