Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
